but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So. Much. Porn.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
