dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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