from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We had sex on a dog bed..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
