then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
