Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
