I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
