covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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