I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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