If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
