I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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