Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
