so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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