I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
