hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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