I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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