I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
