'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize