A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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