i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
