oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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