i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
