I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
