Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
