yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
