We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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