my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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