Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
