wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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