the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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