im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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