I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
