Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
