I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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