My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
