"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im holly from the hills drunk
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
