Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
