She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
