An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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