why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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