How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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