Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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