Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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