first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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