Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
