Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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