Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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