Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize