dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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