Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
