dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
