she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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