I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
