i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
