i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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