wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
