I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
