I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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