I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
